The Important Roles of Senior Family Members

In Western cultures, senior adults are often viewed as a source of concern and worry by younger family members. This belief about aging—that it is a sad time of inevitable decline and loss—deprives adult children and their children of a rich and positive source of knowledge, wisdom, and love.

But the various roles of senior family members are unique and positive, confirming that they are a valuable resource to be used and celebrated by their loved ones.

The Roles of Senior Family Members

It is a mistake to believe that seniors simply want to live quiet, uneventful lives as they age. According to a study at the Stanford Graduate School of Education and the San Francisco-based non-profit Encor.org, the majority of older adults exhibit high levels of pro-social values and behaviors, such as volunteering and helping and caring for others. They have a positive outlook on life, many of them emphasizing their desire for freedom to be involved in things beyond the self.

What are ways to tap into this desire? Seniors can:

Provide childcare. Senior adults often provide hours of childcare for young children saving their parents money and time looking for a babysitter. This eases the burdens of the parents who may have to juggle work schedules, school activities, and a hundred other commitments that come with raising a family and maintaining a home. And grandparents often have more time for interacting with children, playing games, and even just listening, than do frazzled parents.

Help with tasks and provide advice. Seniors can also pitch in to help family members with home maintenance, financial planning or financial assistance, transportation needs, errands, meal preparation, shopping, and other activities. This particular role of senior family members frees up time and energy for adult children and other loved ones, providing them the opportunity to focus on other tasks, or take a well-earned break.

Encourage and mentor children. To be successful, adults require emotional skills—learning the correct behaviors and strategies to be effective in the world. These are skills seniors have developed over the span of their lives. The ability to problem-solve, think critically, put things in perspective, and exercise patience are invaluable attributes that can be passed on from senior family members. Learning about perseverance, hard work, setting goals, and forgiveness are invaluable lessons that improve the chances for leading a successful and meaningful life as adults. The children also receive the opportunity to hear from, and grow to appreciate a person with a unique perspective on life.

Seniors can also pass on physical skills such as mechanical ability, craft work and artistic pursuits such as painting. They can share their passion for music, their love of country, their beliefs, and their pride in the family.

More specifically, seniors are a vital source of family history. They know and can share the context of the family heritage—where its members came from, their struggles, victories and defeats. And instill as sense of belonging and pride within the family.

Be a source of wisdom and calm for family members. Experience provides many positive aspects. One of the most important is the ability to remain calm and see through a current challenge to a positive outcome, simply because the senior has experienced similar circumstances many times before.

Many seniors have lived through economic crises, war, social upheaval, personal failure, grief and loss, childrearing challenges, and physical or emotional pain.

Be a resource for their spouse. Many times one member of a senior couple requires more intensive care than the other. The spouse that becomes caregiver provides a valuable service not only to their partner, but to other family members who may be limited in the time and resources they can provide for care.

Changing the Perspective of Aging

One other lasting role for senior family members involves a change in the perspective of those that follow them:

If adult children redefine their negative perceptions of aging, they can also more easily redefine the roles they will assume when they become senior adults themselves.

Find more on senior living by visiting Bethesda’s blog.