For many seniors, happiness means remaining in their home for as long as possible. Their adult children, however, define happiness as their senior loved one living safely in their home! The difference is slight, but sometimes supporting independence for seniors requires a series of challenging negotiations.
The primary issue is that most seniors treasure their independence and have difficulty accepting that they are not as capable of living without support as they once were. To them, independence means empowerment, confidence, and a feeling of worth and accomplishment. Loss of independence reflects a significant change in a senior’s life, and perhaps a sense that they are becoming a burden to their children.
So how do adult children help their senior loved ones maintain the amount of independence they need, without too much risk to their health and safety?
Areas of Support
Some of the activities required in daily life can become more challenging as seniors age. These include:
- Washing and bathing
- Dressing oneself
- Feeding oneself
- Using the toilet
- Managing medications
- Getting in and out of bed
- Housekeeping
- Yardwork
- Driving
- Shopping
- Bill paying
- Medical appointments
- Home upkeep
Maintaining the Balance
Adjustments need not be dramatic. Handled with tact, understanding and compromise, small lifestyle changes can satisfy the wants and needs of both the adult child and the senior. We want to ease the burden our senior loved ones may feel as they try to maintain their home and their health – while still enabling them to make decisions, complete tasks, and enjoy their lives. Here are some tips for accomplishing a balance between safety and supporting independence:
Make clothes and personal items easy to reach
The choice of what to wear is still up to the senior, but preparing choices or placing the clothes in an open wardrobe where they are visible will make choosing easier.
Select easier-to-put-on clothes
Elastic waistbands instead of buttons or zippers will make dressing simpler and easier.
Move things downstairs
Stairs can be a physical challenge and dangerous for some seniors. If the senior lives in a home with stairs, move the most commonly used items to the first floor. Also, relocate the senior’s bedroom to the first floor if possible.
Make moving at night less hazardous
Install night lights in the bedroom, hallway and bathroom. Make sure pathways are clear of obstacles and tripping hazards like throw rugs and electrical cords. Handrails, particularly in the bathroom around the toilet and bathtub, are also a good idea. Outdoor lighting with an automatic timer will make things safer as well.
Create a safer bathroom
Wet floors, tight spaces, and transitioning in and out of tubs and showers make the bathroom a prime place for accidents. Shower chairs (along with handrails) will improve safety – as will making sure that the hot water heater cannot exceed 120 degrees to avoid burns. Non-slip bathmats and raised toilet seats will also enhance safety and encourage senior independence in the home.
Store frequently used items in cabinets and drawers that are easy to reach
Make sure it doesn’t take a lot of arm strength to open them.
Utilize technology when supporting independence for seniors
Voice-activated devices can do an increasing number of things including:
- Make phone calls
- Play music
- Lock and unlock doors
- Control thermostats
- Operate the television
- Tell time, date, and weather
- Control lights
Additionally, medication management systems can remind seniors when to take their meds and keep adult children informed if medications are not being taken correctly.
Medical alert systems enable seniors to call emergency services, and fall-detection devices automatically alert responders if a person falls — even if the medical alert button isn’t pushed.
Certain models of stoves have automatic shut off controls to prevent fires. There are devices to help with opening jars, and smoke alarms are a must in any kitchen. After the meal is prepared, adaptive utensil sets can make it easier to feed oneself for seniors who may be living with arthritis or Parkinson’s disease.
Support their social life
If it is your senior’s habit to attend worship services, visit friends and relatives, or meet with acquaintances to talk or play games, continue to encourage these activities. Organize reliable transportation services to enable participation in these important aspects of his or her life.
Encourage exercise and activities
Exercise, which can include walking and strength training, is an important aid in supporting independence for seniors. The physical and mental boosts these activities provide are well-documented. If your senior loved one likes to garden, and is still physically capable, encourage them to do so. There are exercise classes for seniors abound on the web – SilverSneakers is a popular site.
Allow for choices whenever possible
If your senior enjoys an activity and can pursue it safely, encourage them to do it. Don’t rush to do things for them that they can work out for themselves. Even if they don’t do the activity as well as they used to, it is important to let them achieve a feeling of accomplishment by doing things without too much assistance.
For example, let them participate in the day-to-day household activities. They may not be able to carry the laundry upstairs, but they can fold it on the kitchen table. Preparing a full meal may be too challenging, but assisting with menu planning and some of the food preparation could be doable. Another option is meal service companies like HelloFresh that deliver pre-measured ingredients and recipes that enable the customer to prepare the meal without starting from scratch.
Be observant
What tasks are falling behind around the home? Is laundry piling up, are bills going unpaid, is food spoiling in the refrigerator, are medications not being taken correctly? There may be some responsibilities your senior would gladly surrender but are hesitating to discuss with you.
Other resources for seniors
Professional assistance, like that provided by Bethesda’s Senior Support Solutions, with chores, managing medications, dressing, physician appointments, grocery shopping, hygiene needs and other activities of daily living can be provided as needed. Discuss this with your loved one. Inviting a stranger into the home may be a difficult but necessary step for them, as well as for you (as one of their caregivers). Emphasize that receiving help with these tasks will free them up to pursue interests and activities they will find more enjoyable.
