Watching someone we care about struggle, decline in health – or even pass away — in front of our eyes can be a traumatic experience, especially when it’s someone very close to us whom we’ve played a central role in caring for.
The good news is that you’re not alone. Almost everyone experiences these feelings sometime in their life. That’s why organizations like Bethesda Hospice Care that provide senior and end of life services can help you work your way through the pain and adjust to life after your loved one has passed.
It’s important to realize that the overwhelming feelings of grief that many of us feel when a loved one passes away isn’t anything to be ashamed of. But it is all too common for some people to reject available assistance because they don’t want to appear as though they are not in control of their own emotions. In fact, the opposite is true. Reaching out for help won’t only make it easier for you to cope, it will help you to be in a better position to support the other people in your life who need you and who value your company.
How can you tell if your grief is out of control?
It’s not unusual to feel sad or as though you are “in a fog” after experiencing a loss. It’s only when depression and sorrow start to linger and when you notice that it has started to affect your relationships, your work, and your personal habits that you should become concerned.
Signs your grief should be addressed:
- You’re unable to meet your basic needs – Are you missing meals, struggling to keep up with basic hygiene, and having trouble sleeping at night?
- Feeling the need to detach – When it’s too painful to think about the person you’ve just lost or that you fear you’ll soon be losing, so you try to block them out of your mind completely.
- Avoiding friends and family – When you don’t want to talk about what’s got you down, so you cut yourself off from the people most important to you.
- Things aren’t getting better – If the feelings of grief remain overbearing or if they seem to get worse as the days go by, it’s time to seek help.
- Substance abuse – Turning to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain is a tactic often used to avoid dealing with emotional pain. But the behavior is ultimately self-destructive and only makes things worse in the long run.
Benefits of taking part in grief support groups:
It’s often difficult for people to open up to those closest to them about feelings of hopelessness, regret and confusion. They fear they might lose that person’s respect or otherwise damage their relationships. But that’s the benefit found in grief support groups: the other members share similar experiences to what you’re going through, so they understand how you feel. Yet they are relative strangers, so you don’t have to feel compromised by telling them your secrets.
Unlike going to a therapist, the other members of your support group aren’t there to try to “fix” you. Rather, they serve as a sounding board to help you get things off your chest while you work through your problems on your own. In addition, hearing other people’s stories about their grief journeys can prove to be cathartic. Often, people who feel guilty about their inability to overcome their sorrow find solace in hearing about how others have struggled and what has helped them in their journey back to a normal life.
Support is available in many forms. You can attend a traditional meeting where people gather in person, or you can participate in a virtual meeting that will provide all the benefits of the grief support group activities and program from the comfort of your own home.
While no two grief support group activities will be exactly the same, they all offer the opportunity to learn and grow, and benefitting from hearing the perspective and ideas of others. Only you can truly decide what it will take to make you feel better. Grief support groups are there to help you learn about the different tools that are available and how best to equip yourself to heal.
