Believe it or not, long-distance caregivers make up about 15% of all family caregivers. And if you fall into this remote caregiving category, you probably spend a lot of time wondering if Mom or Dad are OK. Have they taken their medications correctly? Are they eating sufficiently, or at all? Have they tried to wander?
You visit as often as you can. You make doctor’s appointments for them and make sure that their bills are paid. But as you know, a lot can happen when you aren’t around to visit them regularly.
And you may not realize it, but you have likely experienced tremendous physical and emotional stress due to your worrying about your parents.
The Toll on Long-Distance Caregivers
People who live a substantial distance from their senior loved one experience some unique hardships.
Long-distance caregivers spend twice as much money on providing care for the senior adult as caregivers who are close by. Travel expenses and employing in-home services can add up quickly.
Additionally, time away from work and your own family, using up your vacation days, and the effort to secure the needed services and care for the senior also add up.
Long-distance caregivers are at risk of incurring more stress than on-scene caregivers and may even pay more in medical costs for the emotional and physical stress that ensues.
How to Manage Stress While Remote Caregiving
1. Create a Plan
Begin by examining the resources available to you. That may start with a family meeting to discuss the needs of the senior loved one, during which you will identify who will serve as the primary caregiver, and determine the roles other family members will play.
Someone in the family will need to obtain the legal authority to make financial and healthcare decisions for the senior. The current financial portfolio of Mom and Dad, as well as the willingness of family members to provide some financial support, should help determine which services are possible and where—in the home or a senior living community—they will be provided.
If the senior is staying in their home, the family needs to identify who will help maintain the household, shop for groceries, manage medications, transport the senior to doctors’ appointments, and perform the many other day-to-day tasks that are required. Much of the stress of a long-distance caregiver is found in trying to scramble for help for Mom or Dad at the last minute.
The person remote caregiving may play the role of paying bills online or looking into possible insurance and other benefits the parent could be entitled to.
A contact list that includes everyone involved in the senior’s care, including physicians, specialists, in-home care professionals, and family and friends who may be assisting, could be very helpful.
2. Explore Other Resources
Services are available to assist those remote caregiving in finding the support needed. One such service is the Care.com website, which matches professional caregivers with seniors.
AARP provides a wealth of information for caregivers as well. AgingCare is a site where family caregivers share their comments, observations, questions and answers.
3. Consult a Geriatric Care Manager
These senior care managers are members of a comprehensive team of care management professionals who work with senior adults to improve and maintain their health wherever they may live. They can assist with navigating the health care system, answer insurance questions, coordinate accessing benefits, assess the home for safety, bring medical professionals into the home, see to the basic needs of the senior, and resolve conflicts that may arise within the family.
4. Consider Tech Help
There are a growing number of devices that can help a senior adult remain safe in their own home and can remotely notify long-distance caregivers to potential problems. They include:
- Automatic pill dispensers
- Fall detectors
- Stovetop sensors
- Movement monitoring systems
- Emergency alert and response systems
5. Take Care of Yourself
When you are finished addressing all that needs to be addressed, there is still one more task to perform: Let go of your guilt, anxiety, self-doubt, and all those thoughts that keep you up at night. They will not make things any better for Mom or Dad, and the price you could personally pay for them is too high.
For more information on our Care Management services, visit Bethesda’s website.
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