Many memory care professionals will answer this question the same way—consider memory care before your parent needs it. This may result in some uncomfortable conversations with a parent and other family members, but better to address them now, before problems become unmanageable. Consider these signs your loved one needs memory care and how to prepare for the next step.
Signs Your Loved One Needs Memory Care
Some forgetfulness is normal as we age, but when it begins to interfere with a senior adult’s lifestyle—socially, their ability to handle finances, home management—then serious thought and preparation should be given to memory care.
Other indications of dementia or memory loss include:
- Lack of food (or spoiled food) in the house
- Medications not taken properly (or at all)
- Neglect of personal hygiene
- Increasing forgetfulness and confusion
- Unexplained bruising or other injuries
When symptoms become more severe, they could include:
- Personality changes
- Frustration and aggressiveness
- Wandering
- Wearing clothes inappropriate for the weather
- Extreme difficulty trying to communicate
Before the quantity and severity of symptoms progresses, testing for dementia should be conducted.
Seniors who are going about their daily routine and living in their own homes can appear quite competent. But how would they respond if something happened outside their routine? What if an emergency took place in the home, or something breaks? Would they know what steps to take to address those issues?
Prepare Sooner Rather Than Later
After observing the signs your loved one needs memory care, a good place to start is to create an advanced medical directive. This document will provide guidance before cognitive issues rob the parent of a say in how he or she wants to be cared for if the senior becomes physically or cognitively incapacitated.
Also, appoint a relative or friend with a durable power of attorney to carry out the senior’s wishes. It can be set up so that decisions can be made by the parent until they are no longer capable of making them. It could also be arranged so that letters from two physicians stating that the senior has become cognitively incapacitated would then allow the person with durable power of attorney to begin making decisions and plans.
Keep in mind that dementia does not progress at the same rate for everyone. A senior loved one could suffer a stroke, for example, requiring immediate decisions and actions that no one is prepared to make or take. It’s important to know the signs your loved one needs memory care and how to move forward in their best interest.
Dealing With Guilt
Many family members hesitate to plan for or consider memory care because of guilt. They feel guilty because Mom or Dad have taken care of them for years, and they feel as if they should care for them now that they are older. Remember that many senior living communities have teams of people who are trained and experienced in caring for dementia residents in memory support neighborhoods. Therefore, they can provide many more services compared to what a single-family caregiver can offer.
Typically, a memory support neighborhood is a dedicated, secure area where residents receive assistance with activities of daily living, like dressing, bathing, managing medications, and other personal care services. Meals, laundry service, exercise programs, and activities are also provided in a 24-hour supervised setting.
Caregivers often go to great lengths to care for a parent with dementia in the home, including sleeping by a door to prevent wandering and installing alarms to alert them of unexpected movement in the home. That is an advantage of a senior living community. With the parent living in a memory support neighborhood, the caregiver can go back to being the son or daughter, knowing that their loved one is being safely taken care of by professional staff.
What to Look for in a Memory Support Neighborhood
A part of your planning should include contacting and touring senior living communities that offer memory care. Consider these questions when visiting a memory support neighborhood:
- How does the staff respond to your questions?
- Are they open to giving you a tour?
- How does the facility look? Is it clean? How does it smell?
- Do the residents appear to be cared for?
- Are they being engaged in activities?
Early Preparation Makes it Easier
As a family caregiver, placing a senior loved one in a memory support neighborhood is not an easy decision, but you can feel better about it if you have carefully planned for it and addressed potential issues in advance.
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