How to Talk to a Senior Loved One With Dementia

When a senior loved one is diagnosed with dementia, it can be a scary time for both you and your loved one. Not being able to remember things and struggling to conduct a conversation can be very frustrating. And as the disease progresses, you’ll likely have to learn new ways to communicate with your loved one to help maintain your connection.

Finding an effective way to communicate can prevent outbursts and emotional meltdowns common in those with memory loss. When learning how to talk to someone with dementia, you may have to alter the way you speak to them to avoid triggers or interruptions to the flow of conversation. With a little education and compassion, however, you can make the most of your interactions with your loved one.

Setting Yourself Up for Success

• Eliminate any unnecessary distractions, if possible. Choose a location that is quiet and calm, with good lighting. Turn off the television or music in the area and, if they live in a community with others, find a private place to visit with them. A noisy environment can make it especially difficult for a person with dementia to focus on the conversation.
• People who are living with dementia have “good days” where they have more clarity and “bad days” where they may struggle and experience more frustration. It is important to recognize the signs of these days and adjust your conversations and visits accordingly. At times of frustration, being kind, patient and just present rather than trying to engage in a conversation will ease their minds.
• Make sure all their needs are met before you dive into a conversation. Has your loved one had dinner or are they hungry? Do they seem to have something that is bothering them? Make sure their to-do list is checked off or daily routine is still on schedule before you try to communicate with them to allow them to better focus on the task at hand.
• Be certain you have enough time. Having a conversation with a person dealing with memory loss may take more time to navigate than it did in earlier stages of their disease. So, it’s important to set aside plenty of time to let things take their natural course; otherwise, feeling rushed may cause them frustration or confusion.

Once you’ve set the scene for your visit, the next thing to consider is how to keep the communication flowing. The key is to keep things moving smoothly.

Tips on How to Talk to Someone with Dementia:

• Communicate clearly and calmly, using short and simple sentences that focus on one subject at a time. The idea is to not overload your senior loved one with too much information or too many details at one time. If you are reminiscing about family, pictures could be a good visual to initiate the conversation. Allow them to lead the conversation and avoid correcting their mistakes.
• Be efficient in your sentence structure, but don’t unintentionally insult them by “dumbing down” the conversation or talking to them like a child. They’re still the intelligent person you’ve always known — they just can’t process the information in the same way or at the same speed they did before.
• Don’t dominate the conversation. Try to allow a natural back and forth, giving them plenty of time to say what they want to say rather than asking them one question after another. You want your older loved one feel that you care about what they have to say, not to give them the sense that they’re being interrogated.
• Don’t speak for them in a conversation between multiple people. It is important not to act as though they are not there, which can negatively affect their sense of identity, and make them feel less valued and more isolated. And don’t finish their sentences, even when their thought processes are taking a while and you think you know what they mean to say.
• Be calm and steady. Avoid speaking in a dramatic way, including raising your voice which may make your loved one feel agitated. Use gentle touch. Though some may get defensive if you are in their personal space, try a simple pat on the shoulder or hold their hand when you talk to them. This simple act communicates that you care.
• One of the most important tips on how to talk to someone with dementia is that even if it is lighthearted, never ridicule a person living with dementia for struggling to find the correct word, misspeaking or misremembering details. That is going to discourage them from trying to connect with others in the future and could make them feel alone and unappreciated.

Let Bethesda help you care for a loved one with Dementia

A leader in memory support care in the St. Louis area, we offer a variety of services and programming to make living with dementia easier for your elderly loved one (and you!) from the onset of memory loss. Our professional and compassionate staff provide exemplary care for your loved one, giving them a sense of confidence and purpose in a safe and supportive environment.

Bethesda memory care communities offer exceptional dining, a welcoming atmosphere and a full slate of engaging activities and amenities to help residents live their best lives. To learn more about Bethesda’s memory support care options and get tips on how to talk to someone with dementia, contact us today.